As a former trauma therapist, I can relate to what you are talking about here. And you are correct, perpetrators of violence in all its forms (and haters as you have found) were traumatized themselves in the past, most likely during their childhoods. But far more people were traumatized who do not turn to hate or to perpetrating against …
As a former trauma therapist, I can relate to what you are talking about here. And you are correct, perpetrators of violence in all its forms (and haters as you have found) were traumatized themselves in the past, most likely during their childhoods. But far more people were traumatized who do not turn to hate or to perpetrating against others. You are a case in point. You are an example of "more important than what was done to you is what you do with what was done to you."
It is important to recognize that almost all perpetrators suffered traumatic experiences but not all those who suffered traumatic experiences turn into perpetrators. That is why I do not empathize with those who want to kill me or to have others kill me in their stead (Hamas supporters on campuses, for example). If I were to take on a project like you have, to try to understand haters, I would have to generate enough openness to the person in front of me to have them share their emotional/cognitive worlds with me for sure. That is not the same as "having love" as you mention toward the end of your article and about which I will comment now.
You write: "I’m goin to return again and again to my Judeo-Christian call to love others, to pray for those who persecute you." It is not "Judeo-Christian" but purely Christian. Firstly, Jews are not instructed to love others but to treat them fairly -- you can instruct others to behave in certain ways but not to feel certain ways. Feelings are. They just are. The point is how one behaves regardless of how one feels.
Secondly, we do not pray for those who persecute us. Similarly, we do not have to forgive. For the Jew to forgive there are three conditions that must be met and the first is that the perpetrator apologizes in a sincere manner. I think Christians pray for the perpetrate to recognize his or her sins and accept Jesus, no? Correct me if I am wrong.
This was a brave article you wrote here, David. Recommended reading for sure.
As a former trauma therapist, I can relate to what you are talking about here. And you are correct, perpetrators of violence in all its forms (and haters as you have found) were traumatized themselves in the past, most likely during their childhoods. But far more people were traumatized who do not turn to hate or to perpetrating against others. You are a case in point. You are an example of "more important than what was done to you is what you do with what was done to you."
It is important to recognize that almost all perpetrators suffered traumatic experiences but not all those who suffered traumatic experiences turn into perpetrators. That is why I do not empathize with those who want to kill me or to have others kill me in their stead (Hamas supporters on campuses, for example). If I were to take on a project like you have, to try to understand haters, I would have to generate enough openness to the person in front of me to have them share their emotional/cognitive worlds with me for sure. That is not the same as "having love" as you mention toward the end of your article and about which I will comment now.
You write: "I’m goin to return again and again to my Judeo-Christian call to love others, to pray for those who persecute you." It is not "Judeo-Christian" but purely Christian. Firstly, Jews are not instructed to love others but to treat them fairly -- you can instruct others to behave in certain ways but not to feel certain ways. Feelings are. They just are. The point is how one behaves regardless of how one feels.
Secondly, we do not pray for those who persecute us. Similarly, we do not have to forgive. For the Jew to forgive there are three conditions that must be met and the first is that the perpetrator apologizes in a sincere manner. I think Christians pray for the perpetrate to recognize his or her sins and accept Jesus, no? Correct me if I am wrong.
This was a brave article you wrote here, David. Recommended reading for sure.