As a former trauma therapist, I can relate to what you are talking about here. And you are correct, perpetrators of violence in all its forms (and haters as you have found) were traumatized themselves in the past, most likely during their childhoods. But far more people were traumatized who do not turn to hate or to perpetrating against others. You are a case in point. You are an example of "more important than what was done to you is what you do with what was done to you."
It is important to recognize that almost all perpetrators suffered traumatic experiences but not all those who suffered traumatic experiences turn into perpetrators. That is why I do not empathize with those who want to kill me or to have others kill me in their stead (Hamas supporters on campuses, for example). If I were to take on a project like you have, to try to understand haters, I would have to generate enough openness to the person in front of me to have them share their emotional/cognitive worlds with me for sure. That is not the same as "having love" as you mention toward the end of your article and about which I will comment now.
You write: "Iām goin to return again and again to my Judeo-Christian call to love others, to pray for those who persecute you." It is not "Judeo-Christian" but purely Christian. Firstly, Jews are not instructed to love others but to treat them fairly -- you can instruct others to behave in certain ways but not to feel certain ways. Feelings are. They just are. The point is how one behaves regardless of how one feels.
Secondly, we do not pray for those who persecute us. Similarly, we do not have to forgive. For the Jew to forgive there are three conditions that must be met and the first is that the perpetrator apologizes in a sincere manner. I think Christians pray for the perpetrate to recognize his or her sins and accept Jesus, no? Correct me if I am wrong.
This was a brave article you wrote here, David. Recommended reading for sure.
You are brave, and you have tons of appreciation behind you. Thank you for helping victims of trauma. Hopefully survivors of October 7 will be able to reach the emotional level which you have reached.
I'm leaving the "understand the antisemite" to you David. I'm not sure that it is something that you need to have on your plate. It's obviously a Christian thing, and I can respect it while not agreeing with it. You be well, my friend.
Thanks, my friend, for this immensely brave and penetrating essay that I have read twice and will read again a few times. Just two nights ago, I was discussing Substack with my wife. I was praising Substack and the high quality of the people I come across regularly. I told her I have met some wonderful and fascinating people who I now consider friends, and I specifically identified you and a couple others. I hold you in the highest esteem!
As I read your essay, I thought about Victor Franklās āManās Search for Meaningā which I am currently reading for the third time. I will be writing a review and probably an essay about one aspect of it. I presume you have read it. You appear to be searching for meaning, and successfully especially given the opprobrious events you have described. You have my greatest admiration.
Thank you for your honesty! Know that your work is appreciated and continue to take care of yourself. I did not know that Amanita Muscaria gummies were a thing! I wonder whether theyāre available without gelatin/vegan?
I have nothing in common with these antisemites. They are haters and totally radicalized. You canāt even have a decent conversation with them and I tried . They are enemies of the world . Best to fight back or ignore them at your peril .
Thank you, I really appreciate your encouragement. What you are describing sounds similar to a technique that I am using with one of my therapists and I agree that it does seem to be helpful.
David, your pain continues to blossom into love. And thanks for the beautiful quote from Major Levy.
As a former trauma therapist, I can relate to what you are talking about here. And you are correct, perpetrators of violence in all its forms (and haters as you have found) were traumatized themselves in the past, most likely during their childhoods. But far more people were traumatized who do not turn to hate or to perpetrating against others. You are a case in point. You are an example of "more important than what was done to you is what you do with what was done to you."
It is important to recognize that almost all perpetrators suffered traumatic experiences but not all those who suffered traumatic experiences turn into perpetrators. That is why I do not empathize with those who want to kill me or to have others kill me in their stead (Hamas supporters on campuses, for example). If I were to take on a project like you have, to try to understand haters, I would have to generate enough openness to the person in front of me to have them share their emotional/cognitive worlds with me for sure. That is not the same as "having love" as you mention toward the end of your article and about which I will comment now.
You write: "Iām goin to return again and again to my Judeo-Christian call to love others, to pray for those who persecute you." It is not "Judeo-Christian" but purely Christian. Firstly, Jews are not instructed to love others but to treat them fairly -- you can instruct others to behave in certain ways but not to feel certain ways. Feelings are. They just are. The point is how one behaves regardless of how one feels.
Secondly, we do not pray for those who persecute us. Similarly, we do not have to forgive. For the Jew to forgive there are three conditions that must be met and the first is that the perpetrator apologizes in a sincere manner. I think Christians pray for the perpetrate to recognize his or her sins and accept Jesus, no? Correct me if I am wrong.
This was a brave article you wrote here, David. Recommended reading for sure.
You are brave, and you have tons of appreciation behind you. Thank you for helping victims of trauma. Hopefully survivors of October 7 will be able to reach the emotional level which you have reached.
Beautiful, honest piece. Traumatised traumatise but don't have to.
Thank you for sharing! I look forward to your posts!
Youāre doing great work, David. Thank you for sharing it all.
I'm leaving the "understand the antisemite" to you David. I'm not sure that it is something that you need to have on your plate. It's obviously a Christian thing, and I can respect it while not agreeing with it. You be well, my friend.
Thanks, my friend, for this immensely brave and penetrating essay that I have read twice and will read again a few times. Just two nights ago, I was discussing Substack with my wife. I was praising Substack and the high quality of the people I come across regularly. I told her I have met some wonderful and fascinating people who I now consider friends, and I specifically identified you and a couple others. I hold you in the highest esteem!
As I read your essay, I thought about Victor Franklās āManās Search for Meaningā which I am currently reading for the third time. I will be writing a review and probably an essay about one aspect of it. I presume you have read it. You appear to be searching for meaning, and successfully especially given the opprobrious events you have described. You have my greatest admiration.
If you haven't read it, Scott Alexander talks about precisely this, the reenactment of trauma in a psychopolitical context, in section V of this piece: https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/the-psychopolitics-of-trauma
Iām with you, my friend.
Thank you for your honesty! Know that your work is appreciated and continue to take care of yourself. I did not know that Amanita Muscaria gummies were a thing! I wonder whether theyāre available without gelatin/vegan?
Thank you. Yes, I believe you can order them raw. Iāve been meaning to get around to that at some point.
I have nothing in common with these antisemites. They are haters and totally radicalized. You canāt even have a decent conversation with them and I tried . They are enemies of the world . Best to fight back or ignore them at your peril .
Iām glad to hear you havenāt experienced trauma like I have.
Thank you, I really appreciate your encouragement. What you are describing sounds similar to a technique that I am using with one of my therapists and I agree that it does seem to be helpful.