Hello David
I have read, very carefully, what you have written. Firstly, l really want to take the next flight over Stateside and give you a huge hug .. to speak out about your deepest feelings .. seeking answers to questions that may never be answered .. to analyse yourself in such depth is incredibly brave .. but totally exhausting. J…
I have read, very carefully, what you have written. Firstly, l really want to take the next flight over Stateside and give you a huge hug .. to speak out about your deepest feelings .. seeking answers to questions that may never be answered .. to analyse yourself in such depth is incredibly brave .. but totally exhausting. Just in the brief while we have spoken on Substack l can feel your pain - l can hear your pain - my heart goes out to you and those dear souls around you who care so deeply for you and may feel helpless, not understanding the effects of PTSD with all its many “tentacle’s” It is really an “umbrella” term as you know .. the thoughts, feelings and behaviour it engenders in you can be different from day to day. The smallest change or thought can evoke negative self talk even at a subliminal level .. in most cases, when you feel abandoned by people you would have hoped had been there for you, the reason is simple, they don’t know how to “reach you” .. when we are seriously depressed we can lose ourselves in our own minds, in our own belief systems, become crippled by personal expectations and pressure we exert upon ourselves, making us even harder to “reach” .. Your writing is truly amazing and you have a great mind, this will always be. However, right now, you need to start doing the hardest climb ever .. being kind to yourself and understanding that “it’s ok to not be ok” and “it’s ok to have bad days” the word “normal” doesn’t exist - There is no “normal” allow yourself to be yourself with no expectations - try a few days of putting in one thing a day that is different to how you have lived before - however small - build this up .. realise that you can walk again. If there is no change, then there will be no change .. Make a few notes with Sally about how you will spend your days, together and alone .. walk a different pathway and you will awaken and realise that you CAN do this .. Free yourself in every way .. clear your mind - live in the moment and learn the technique of meditation .. the skill of “stilling the mind” you CAN do this .. recognise the triggers and learn to still your mind .. Change most everything about the way you live and learn to love yourself! Do not “dance with the dark”when you feel that way .. open your eyes and ears to each day and .. learn to laugh again .. Sending you my very best wishes! I BELIEVE in you 🙏🏻
Hello David
I have read, very carefully, what you have written. Firstly, l really want to take the next flight over Stateside and give you a huge hug .. to speak out about your deepest feelings .. seeking answers to questions that may never be answered .. to analyse yourself in such depth is incredibly brave .. but totally exhausting. Just in the brief while we have spoken on Substack l can feel your pain - l can hear your pain - my heart goes out to you and those dear souls around you who care so deeply for you and may feel helpless, not understanding the effects of PTSD with all its many “tentacle’s” It is really an “umbrella” term as you know .. the thoughts, feelings and behaviour it engenders in you can be different from day to day. The smallest change or thought can evoke negative self talk even at a subliminal level .. in most cases, when you feel abandoned by people you would have hoped had been there for you, the reason is simple, they don’t know how to “reach you” .. when we are seriously depressed we can lose ourselves in our own minds, in our own belief systems, become crippled by personal expectations and pressure we exert upon ourselves, making us even harder to “reach” .. Your writing is truly amazing and you have a great mind, this will always be. However, right now, you need to start doing the hardest climb ever .. being kind to yourself and understanding that “it’s ok to not be ok” and “it’s ok to have bad days” the word “normal” doesn’t exist - There is no “normal” allow yourself to be yourself with no expectations - try a few days of putting in one thing a day that is different to how you have lived before - however small - build this up .. realise that you can walk again. If there is no change, then there will be no change .. Make a few notes with Sally about how you will spend your days, together and alone .. walk a different pathway and you will awaken and realise that you CAN do this .. Free yourself in every way .. clear your mind - live in the moment and learn the technique of meditation .. the skill of “stilling the mind” you CAN do this .. recognise the triggers and learn to still your mind .. Change most everything about the way you live and learn to love yourself! Do not “dance with the dark”when you feel that way .. open your eyes and ears to each day and .. learn to laugh again .. Sending you my very best wishes! I BELIEVE in you 🙏🏻
Thank you for your deep kindness and insights Skye.