2 Crazy Articles I Wrote Last Year Regarding An American War to Conquer Greenland
What started as silly satire and provocateur polemic now readies to become hard, naked reality. Prepare yourselves.
As may be apparent from the series of submissions this month from other contributors in lieu of my own pieces, the Thanksgiving miscarriage’s mourning has severely impeded my ability to write.
Decisions have become so difficult now.
I cannot focus.
I find that when I go to the grocery store now, I might stand and stare at a shelf of protein bars, unable to make a decision, ultimately deciding on nothing. I wandered through the pastries in the bakery and nothing seemed appealing.
I can’t even enjoy some donuts, inspired by this lovely David Lynch documentary about transcendence that I’ve been geeking out over of late:
And so to write has become an endurance trial, an obstacle course. My daily writing work sometimes now takes three or four times as long.
The mourning is like a physical sickness, like a degree of drunkenness, made all the more amusing by my avoidance of alcohol. Thankfully, one recent grocery store decision was made by others. Both by my father and my writing buddy Marc Friedman insisted that the Heineken Zero brand of non-alcoholic beer was worth trying and they were certainly correct.
(As heretical as this may sound, this stuff may taste better than the standard Heineken, which has long been a favorite of mine.)
“Non-alcoholic beer,” I always thought as the archetypal rebellious young man, “who would want ot drink that!”
Well now a twice-married man hitting middle age with an anxiety diagnosis from a few weeks back.
Non-alcoholic beer—having tried a number of brands, I have to admit that I’ve now become a fan. And it makes the calorie intake easier too. The mourning has obliterated my appetite and shot my weight down to levels I haven’t seen since college decades ago. So drinking the calories this way seems to help. Oh God, I feel so old.
I’ll be 42 at the end of the month but feel like 102.
But enough of the digressions and emotional softening up of the readership.
Here’s the meat of the sandwich for you, should you be foolish enough to take further bites.
I am quite alarmed about President Donald John Trump’s moves to acquire Greenland as United States terrority, either through a coerced “purchase”—and how do you price this land and ice, exactly?—or especially through military conflict.
This is the majority position in America by far. Polling shows that currently only 4% of Americans support military action to conquer Greenland.
I wrote about Greenland twice last year, both in genres of writing that I’m not planning on exploring this year: satires and polemics. Both of these mediums just require a heart and an energy that has now left me.
Seven miscarriages has broken me, with this last one finally doing it as I received the full score of the bloody details.
And I already wrote last year about how I had grown tired of continuing to trying to make arguments:
Here are the two articles mentioning Greenland:
For your reading convenience, I have decided to copy and paste the full text of each below.
I hope you enjoy:
It makes sense that most people in North America, both above and below the Canadian border, would find ridiculous the idea of Canada and Greenland joining the United States, and all the more so against their will through military action.
However, skeptics of President Donald Trump and his Shadow President, He Who Shall Not Be Named, really should give the plan an opportunity to move forward. I’m now an advocate, and here’s why.
As I’ve written about from time to time, as a member of the Illuminati and an investigative journalist, I have developed a network of confidential sources throughout world governments and their espionage agencies, providing me with the hidden explanations behind often mysterious public policy plans.
Now, there’s a pretty straightforward reason why Trump would advance a policy so seemingly outlandish that even Laura Ingraham pushes back on him on Fox News, as depicted in the delicious clip embedded above.
As I wrote previously and repeat regularly: Vladimir Putin is really in charge. He’s the Real President. He’s calling the shots which the Reality TV President and the Shadow President then implement. These rumblings about conquering Canada and Greenland would thus apparently be about nurturing chaos and weakness among Western allies, thus distracting focus from the malevolent moves perpetrated in Eastern Europe.
This is indeed why Putin is directing his puppets to pursue this path. However, my sources report that Trump and HWSNBN have their own ideas as to why it’s so important to acquire our neighbors to the north. Three words: rare earth minerals.
You’ll recall that this was a big deal recently in the talks with Ukraine, something that seemed totally strange and out of place while Putin is committing genocide against the Ukrainian people:
Why this strange fixation on rare earth minerals?
Trump and his Shadow President are rightfully focused on the need to achieve AI Supremacy. Whichever nation builds the smartest AI will become the top superpower on the planet. AI is now akin to nuclear weapons for previous generations, and the arms race is on. Thus, America needs to acquire the rare minerals needed to create the most advanced computer chips and high-powered batteries.
This isn’t just a problem of private industries looking for resources so they can provide ever-more advanced versions of ChatGPT. States are getting in the game now, too, out of simple self-preservation.
And that’s what Trump and his Shadow President handler are after, also: simple self-preservation. These two men’s motives for building the most ultra-genius level of AI are entirely understandable. They need to create an AI smart enough to find all the locations in Russia and elsewhere around the world in which evidence of the kompromat blackmail material Putin maintains on both of them is stored. In order for the two men running our government to finally free themselves of their enslavement to Putin, they need to acquire as many rare earth minerals as possible.
And I think we should all really support our fearless leaders in their efforts here. Because what do Trump and the Shadow President have planned for Putin once the evidence of their disgusting, illegal sex crimes is destroyed?
The same thing that happens to anyone who crosses them: vengeance.
No longer beholden to Putin and now further bumped up against Russia’s borders through Canada and Greenland, the US will declare war on Russia and begin an invasion. The ultra-brilliant AI will have disabled Russia’s nuclear arsenal and sent robot honeybees armed with paralyzing poisons to neutralize top Russian officials and oligarchs.
With Russia now under American control, then the army of Optimus robots and cyber trucks armed with alternate dimension teleportation blasters will move south to defeat the other components of the Axis of Genocide: Iran and China.
These global wars of conquest are necessary to ensure American hegemony and national security. They will take place starting in the fall and running through 2032, the end of Trump’s third term.
Now, for all the people out there upset because they just voted for Trump to lower the price of groceries or because they thought he’d stick it to the trans people or because some macho podcaster told them to, what’s the matter? You mean this sort of global realignment isn’t something you signed up for or would ever support? You don’t want your tax dollars going to pay for killer Optimus robots to slaughter Russians?
Well, it’s not like we haven’t been trying to warn you about what these men and this movement are all about, that Trump has been owned by Russia and his Shadow President owned by China - realities apparent for some time now. It’s just impolite to speak about this so frankly. Nobody wants to hear it.
People want to think that American politics are all about grand clashes of ideologies and the skills needed to win campaigns. “It’s the economy, stupid!” Nope. It’s ultra-wealthy billionaires using blackmail material to force each other to engage in wars.
And what happens if they don’t follow orders? Their crimes will be revealed and they’ll end up in a place like where Trump sent this innocent man:
So, Americans: We need to support our presidents in their plan to conquer Canada and Greenland, acquire their rare earth minerals, use them to construct a super-intelligent AI to locate and destroy the kompromat targeted against them, and then invade Russia, China, and Iran next over the course of Trump’s third term.
This is the way.
And it should go without saying: Anyone who stands against this plan is by definition a far-left radical communist who hates America and should be shipped off to Guantánamo Bay immediately and indefinitely.
When I gave Sally Shideler the green light to describe the so-called “Alligator Alcatraz” concentration camp in a Florida swamp as “Alligator Auschwitz,” I knew that it would rattle some cages, particularly on an email list with a Zionist, antisemitism focus on what we do. That was intentional and deliberate. And it goes well beyond discussions of what life will be like in this facility for the human beings subjected to enduring it.
Editor’s Note: It is not in spite of the readership of this site that I said what I said. Instead, it is because of the heavily Jewish and Zionist tilt. Those of you who belong to these groups know better than most the dangers that lie this way. -SS
I believe that Stephen Miller, the head of the white-nationalist wing of the so-called MAGA movement, hates non-white people. And that hatred is driving policy on:
Rounding up as many non-white immigrants as possible for indefinite detainment in camps before deportation to random third-world countries
Removing food and medical supplies via USAID to directly cause non-white deaths
Bombing brown people in the Middle East, particularly calling for the ethnic cleansing of Gaza
The racist wing of the MAGA movement wants to see brown people die. They fantasize about alligators eating them. Fucking Mar-A-Lago-Faced Laura Loomer calls for genocide against brown people:
And we all know full well the rise in Nazi rhetoric on the Right with the greater platforming on social media and in podcasts of naked racists like Candace Owens and Nick Fuentes.
Stephen Miller can’t get away with building outright torture chambers in America, so what does he do? He ships immigrants off to third-world torture chambers, like he did to Kilmar Abrego Garcia:
The administration wants to do that not just to illegal immigrants, but to any white people who stand in their way, too. Anyone is capable of being swept up in this. Anyone could be labeled a “terrorist” and then sent off for fucking “rendition” anywhere.
Friends, I’m saying it clearly: WE ARE NOW IN A FUCKING AUTHORITARIAN STATE. We are in a crisis state right now. Wake up and take it seriously. The Rubicon has been fucking crossed, and now it’s full speed ahead.
This is America on July 4, 2025, 249 years after our founding. This administration is neo-Confederate. They want to enslave and torture brown people. They are imperial and expansionist like the Confederacy was. You know that, right? The Confederacy wanted to conquer the Caribbean and Latin America - they wanted a slave empire. Sound a bit like the calls to take control of Canada, Greenland, the Panama Canal, and Gaza?
And now the Putin-Miller-Trump-Thiel regime is building that.
Is this what you signed up for, Sissy SpaceX? Killing brown people? Maybe it is. After all, you’re quite content to publish such content all around the world through your fucking “X” website.
So this is just a fair warning to our subscribers: The “rhetoric” is going to increase here as the threat and evil and unconstitutional behavior has increased.
The great evil of the so-called “big beautiful bill” goes beyond its cuts to food stamps and healthcare for poor people. ICE is now massively expanding. The war against America has begun again. Only this time, the Confederates occupy the White House and have control over the military, which misogynist Pete Hegseth is already dispatching against Americans.
The Dark Days of the American Empire in Decline are really beginning. Brace yourself. It’s going to get scary, but, Thoth does assure me, there will be a lot of funny moments. Because as horrible and frightening as all this is, remember: Stephen Miller is fucking incompetent. He is pushing too hard, and this will ultimately blow up in his and Trump’s faces. He did not reach his positions based on merit and talent, but simply on raw malice.
The underlying white supremacist, neo-Confederate ideology is based on lies, and their belief in falsehoods will ultimately undo them. Those who cannot deal with accurate reality will not be able to understand or perceive the threats which will undo them.
For now, though, all that I can attest to, that I will do, is the journalism—to document what is to be perpetuated against brown people across Latino, African, and Arab demographics around the world. And I will warn: Hate against Jews is going to continue to rise, as will hate against everyone. From the far left, greater anti-white hate is increasing. Hate against one group will always radicalize some members of it. Every time, there is a choice between the Martin Luther King, Jr. path or the Malcolm X path, and each time, some will know the godly way while others will fall to the temptations of power and cruelty.
As opposition against the Trump regime’s radical cruelty rises, as violence in the streets increases, this is the parallel we will perpetually see.
Fascism in the government, anarchism in the streets, fires in the synagogues, and the true heart of humanity beating, blood spurting, the reality of who we are revealed yet again ...
Happy 4th of July. Pass the hot dog, flame up the barbecue, crack the beer, watch the colorful explosions in the sky, and let fucking freedom ring forever.
God is watching, Stephen Miller. And so are the rest of us.
