Why I Added My Middle Name to My Byline And the Hilarious Thing That Happened Afterwards

I am Michael Clayton now and you should be too. Just accept it if this is who you are. Whatever profession you have chosen, you too can be a Michael Clayton.

”I’m not a miracle worker, I’m a janitor.” - Michael Clayton

“St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.”

This morning I indulged one of my perennial vices, arguing with anonymous people on the internet for my own amusement and hopefully others’ entertainment too.

I’ve followed this guy Cyber Hermetica 𐀏 for some time, though quickly realized his “Hermetica” branding didn’t have a whole lot to do with the sort of traditional Hermeticism from the ancient world which I’ve studied and practiced for years.

The Hermetic tradition is universalist—more of a toolkit than a religion—and thus historically it has blended with Jewish, Christian, Muslim, and then scientific, Enlightenment philosophies. It is not a form of idolatry or pagan worship. One does not worship the ancient Egyptian deity Thoth (or his proper name Djehuty) who is at the center of the tradition. One “invokes” him. He is not a god to be worshipped, but more akin to an angel to be called upon in times of need.

Why would I make such a comparison? Because for about 15 years now I’ve been doing both. They produce comparable effects of personal healing, calming, and protection against “dark spirits.”

In the Western Esoteric tradition, one of the central rituals one can do is the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. This involves calling forth multiple names of God and four of His angels. It is very easy and very effective and one of the elementary lessons that one learns when beginning occult practice. I wrote about it in the list article above and recommend it for all.

And so I extended this principle further. In choosing to make a shift this year in my writing and spiritual self-framing, I chose to start using my whole name now in my byline. I’ve done shifts like this periodically over the years as I’ve sought to change my headspace. When I edited a “lifestyle” blog for years then I shifted to Dave Swindle. When I wanted to be more serious writing for think tanks then it became David M. Swindle.

So now I’ve decided to just take this a step further and invoke the angel with all of my writing and infuse that aspect of God into my being so that when I go forth into contact with those possessed by “all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls” that I might do so with greater love and compassion and understanding and why not a run-on-sentence every now and then?

Those who want to skip the ethno-nationalist Vs humanist-universalist Substack Notes debate are more than welcome to do so. Jump ahead to see the explanation of how this invocation of Michael shifted into a self-realization of myself personally and professionally as the protagonist of 2007’s thriller “Michael Clayton.”

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When you invoke a spirit then you really don’t know what effects you’re going to get. If you knew what exactly you needed then you wouldn’t feel compelled to resort to supernatural means.

Apparently one of the historical aspects of the Archangel Michael is that he “weighs souls”:

Rogier van der Weyden’s “The Last Judgment” (1443–51) via Wikimedia Commons.

That’s a familiar image now isn’t it?

Papyrus of Hunefer, circa 1275 BCE. Also via Wikimedia commons

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Meaning: both invocation of Michael in the Christian tradition and Thoth in the ancient Egyptian tradition can result in calling forth a judgment of the soul and thus a strangely legalistic mentality seeking to “balance the scales” and set things right.

As I was making this choice to emphasize my middle name and the angelic power associated with it, I also came to revisit one of my favorite films, “Michael Clayton,” which I remember seeing and reviewing when it debuted in theaters.

At the time of the film’s release in 2007 I was a year out of college, working a dull, pay-the-bills job, and doing some freelance writing on the side while I mostly focused on drafting a fantasy novel.

Now it’s 2026, 19 years later, and I’ve been out in the professional wilderness long enough to begin to realize what I’ve become as I rewatched the movie again. And then it made sense to just put it on my LinkedIn and resume:

In “Michael Clayton,” George Clooney’s character is not the glamorous lawyer arguing the high profile cases and appearing on TV. He’s the firm’s “fixer” who works behind the scenes to “clean up” difficult situations.

And that’s what he’s initially tasked to do in the film, to try and resolve this problem of a top lawyer going nuts in a deposition hearing, putting the whole case in jeopardy. What ends up happening is that in trying to clean up this mess, Clayton uncovers the deeper mess that drove his friend to madness: their corporate client is guilty of killing people and they know it.

Looking back on my life since 2007, I came to realize that both personally and professionally it’s been one mess after another that I’ve been tasked with fixing or that I’ve stumbled into trying to fix out of my own hubris and ignorance. This has required a lot of flexibility and adaptability—I’ve learned a wide range of skills and subjects. When something goes wrong, then we have to change to deal with it. And that’s what it’s been all these years. And things have often gone wrong—I know “where the bodies are buried” now and wish I did not.

Maybe you can relate? Maybe you can look back on the roles you’ve played professionally and personally to see how while you’re probably not a lawyer, you might play the “fixer” and “janitor” role in your family or profession. People call you in to be a “miracle worker” and then you have to tell them you’re just a janitor cleaning up the mess.

But sometimes we can work miracles. Sometimes just cleaning up a mess is a miracle in and of itself. Even if it’s just telling a European Blood and Soil Nationalist that we just need to love each other more.

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If you haven’t seen “Michael Clayton” yet then it’s probably best not to watch the climax I’ve embedded below—spoiler alert—but for those who don’t care or who have, then give this a watch every time you’re needing to pump yourself up and remember how this works. You are Michael Clayton too. Recognize when you’re in this moment and own it.

When the facts are on your side, when you’ve found the unbreakable argument in your hands, when you no longer have to bend to anyone, that only God can judge you, that CONFRONTATION IS A VIRTUE, then there’s only one thing to say:

“Do I look like I’m negotiating?”