Why Did My Second Ketamine Infusion Make Me Think About Judaism and Islam?
Today's Revelation Is Going to Take A Bit More Time to Process Before Sharing
Before my second ketamine infusion this morning, I decided to dig into more of Dr. Ko’s YouTube videos for more tips about how I might most benefit from the experience. And the one I’ve embedded above is probably the most useful, which I’m going to follow here.
In it, he explains that a common thing many people want to do after their ketamine treatments is go and tell other people about the new insights, ideas, and beliefs they get. He warns that it’s better to take a little time first to fully think about and integrate the new ideas which emerge before beginning to go and tell others. Because if we move forward too quickly, then we risk others shooting us down or raining on our parade or trying to dissuade us before we’re ready to fully defend our new positions.
Before my infusion started today I mentioned this video to him and told him that I felt the insight from my first experience - the importance of forgiving everyone who has hurt us - was so basic and non-controversial that I wasn’t too worried about sharing it. Here’s the post if you missed it:
However, today’s dosage was a bit higher than the first one, and the next four dosages will be even higher. Meaning: the next series of ideas and insights I get will dig deeper into my subconscious, and likely get much, much weirder and wilder. This second treatment was still in the first category of experiences, which I wrote about here:
It was another “empathogenic experience” - largely pleasant and friendly, sort of a rollercoaster ride in the dark. Ever been on Space Mountain at DisneyLand? It’s a bit like that. You’re strapped in, can’t move, hearing pleasant music, and just accepting where the ride takes you. Yeah, I may as well embed a video of it for fun:
So no “entities” showing up yet, or “near death experiences” reliving my life, and I have yet to have a full blown “transcendental” mystical experience unifying with all of existence.
But I did get an answer to the question that I went into the experience wondering. My first session was very effective at putting my PTSD symptoms into remission. I am no longer feeling the hyper-arousal of my senses and hyper-vigilance of my emotions. It’s a wonderful relief! Yesterday I was actually able to concentrate enough to read a book for the first time all year! But it left me wondering: what must I do next? There are so many potential projects and tasks to move forward on with developing God of the Desert Books and my other work and activism that I didn’t know where to start.
So that’s what I asked for. I needed some “Clarity of Direction.” So much of the session was really more like a prayer. I was perpetually simply invoking God to tell me what to do. “I am your servant, Lord, tell me what you want of me” was something I repeated in my head as I lay back in the chair, the music played, and the ketamine infused into my body.
And I got an answer. And for whatever reason, it had to do with both Judaism and Islam, two religions which I have studied and worked closely around for more than a decade, but do not practice myself.
After I emerged from the ketamine’s effects, I told Dr. Ko about today’s insights and, in the spirit of the video above, he encouraged me to write about it but to give myself a week before publishing. So that’s what I’m going to do. This is a bit heavier lift than simply “the power of forgiveness.”
So please tune back into God of the Desert Books Substack in a week once I’ve had a bit more time to process this particular revelation of what I believe our Creator is calling on me to do moving forward.
