What's Out, What's In For 2023, According to Me
Out with the old and tired! In with the newer and slightly better, which we'll look back on with disdain just twelve short months from now!
Don't worry, I will soon give up my New Year-related posts! But we're not even halfway through January, so I'm riding this wave of inspiration all the way back to the beach.
Here are my suggestions for the leftover 2022 trends we should dispense with, and what we should embrace instead for 2023.
Out: Millennial Minimalism
In: Moody Maximalism
Hell yes! Now, this says “home” to me. Take your shiplap and your one perfect, empty bowl and get out of here. In 2023, let's decorate with all the things.
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Out: The 70s 90s look
In: The 90s 90s look
This is what I want to see! Extra points for the boxy jacket; double extra points for the flannel and Docs. Flared wide-wale cords and velour pullovers? This is your stop.
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Out: Adapting a book into a six-part miniseries
In: Adapting a book into another book
HBO and its ilk are drunk with power. They simply must be stopped. Join with me to demand fewer “must-watch” miniseries from successful writers and more “must-read” follow-up projects in 2023.
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Out: A social media highlight reel
In: Joyfully sharing your sloppy self
Ah, my sloppy self: Frizzy hair badly in need of coloring, very chipped nails, disgusting habit, and all. Not my ✨best self✨ - but certainly my real self! I mean, you've gotta meet yourself where you are, and love yourself.
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Out: Platform Ugg ankle boots
In: Duck boots
Ugg boots are an abomination, and they always have been. And the latest platform version, which I will not even link to, out of my deep respect for style, are the worst version yet. Perhaps they are useful to the surfers of Australia, with whom they originated, but as someone who walks around in the sand every day, I doubt it. Why the duck boot instead? With its slimmer profile, it's not as clunky to wear, but still keeps you 100% dry in muck and guck. Plus, they wipe clean! More of this energy in 2023, please.
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Out: Cancelling plans
In: Only making plans you'll want to keep
Quit agreeing to meet your friend for drinks after work. Stop scheduling brunch at that adorable new bistro. You know you aren't going to want to do that. You know you're just going to want to come home, kick off your shoes, and collapse into a puddle of sweatpants. Invite your friends over for coffee instead - or only say yes to invites that are worth the hassle.
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Out: Wearing something chic to go out for a dinner date
In: Wearing a blanket to go out for a dinner date
This comfort-first policy works with your sweetheart, too! Justin and Hailey Bieber are truly showing us the way. Stepping out for a romantic evening meal doesn't demand your most painfully slim-cut jeans or your tightest dress. For God's sake, you're supposed to be eating when you go out to dinner! And nothing goes with delicious food like a snuggly, warm blanket. Bonus? Extra napkins material! And hey, more events might just be worth the hassle, after all, if you knew you could wear a blanket.
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Out: Acting like a restrained adult, capable of behaving in accordance with the social contract
In: Petting every dog, stopping for ice cream, asking babies what their names are, and buying that awesome thing you have no room for
This one should be self-explanatory. This is what happiness is.
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Out: Whale tails
In: Butts. In pants.
Again - self-explanatory. Again - no picture, for style's sake.
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Out: Carrying trauma around with you
In: Throwing your trauma on the ground, stomping on it, dousing it in gasoline, and setting that shit on fire
You would be better off not keeping your mind and body as living shrines to those who have hurt you. Easier said than done? Of course. But you can start, and once you do, it gets easier. 2023 is the year to keep the wisdom you gained and ritually cleanse yourself of the damage.
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Out: AirBnBs
In: Hotels! These are lovely accommodations where they actually clean up *for* you.
Sure, renting an AirBnB when you travel is an ostensibly fun way to try out “living like a local.” But you know what you have to do when you're a local who's not on vacation? Take the trash out. Clean the bathtub. Wash and put away every last fork and coffee mug. Launder and replace your towels. Do we all remember that hotels take care of this stuff for us? In 2023, let's actually relax on vacations - and let housekeeping take care of what we forgot. (Don't forget to tip them!)
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Out: Offering only cropped sweaters, sweatshirts, quarter-zips, and tees
In: Providing the rest of the garment
Okay - what, even, is this? Who does this look good on? Who is this serving? The answer is “no one.” No one! Let's get rid of this strange silhouette once and for all in 2023. And, hey, clothing manufacturers, a word to the wise: there's a sizable contingent of women with buying power who would gladly pay for the bottom half (or 3/4?) of the garment, along with the shoulders. Weird, I know.
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Out: Failing to meet everyone else's expectations
In: Succeeding at meeting your own expectations
Leading our lives means keeping lots of balls in the air: our families, our hobbies, our work, our friends, our spirituality, and many more. Every one of those areas tends to come with people who have expectations for us - and sometimes, those expectations are diametrically opposed. So it's baked into the deal that we won't please everyone! How do we reconcile it all? In 2023, I propose that we shift our perspective and be accountable, first and foremost, to ourselves. We ought to be chasing the priorities, standards, and dreams that we know make sense for us, and let the less important critical voices fall away. Let's give ourselves permission to do so.
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Out: Joshua Tree National Park
In: Anywhere else. Literally anywhere. I don't care. Maybe Vermont?
Okay, folks, things are getting out of hand. We know it's ethereally beautiful in this otherworldly corner of the Mojave, but my cup of black coffee costs $7 now, and I need there to be fewer tourists.
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