The Unfuckable Man's War Against Freedom and Beauty

A "hardcore" rant incoming.

During my sojourn through right-wing media the last 15 years, so often I came across totally fake issues that tiny cohorts in the conservative movements obsessed over, nurturing Paris Hilton-style like demented Chihuahuas in their lobbyist purses.

One of these snapping critters that seemed at least more cute than the others was this obsession over many countries and individuals not having as many kids as previous generations and the great calamity this presents, an outright apocalypse apparently.

When there are terrorist groups plotting bombings and humans stuck in oubliettes in gulags and dungeons around the globe, worrying about how things might be generations from now was never the most pressing concern for me and it still isn't.

"How can we get more people to fuck" just doesn't seem as pressing a problem as "fuck, we need more people to care about the global war against free societies and the simultaneous genocides waged by Russia against Ukraine, China against the Uyghurs, and Iran against the Jews."

However, now having pondered this "issue" which has seemingly vexed even the wealthiest man in the world, I have come to a very simple solution, and dare I say one that is deeply feminist:

The primary impediment in this world to more babies being born is the greater prevalence of unfuckable men.

And what is this term, this vulgarity that I unleash so shamelessly: an "unfuckable man"?

I'll provide a simple definition: a man who has not done sufficient self-improvement work on himself to inspire women to want to have sex with him, and certainly not to bear his children.

Ladies, pardon me for a moment, allow me to address a particular segment of the "male community" for a moment, a minority of us certainly, but one which for whatever reason has failed to learn a foundational lesson on manhood that the majority of us figured out at 13 or 15 tops:

Hello, self-defined "incels," angry that women do not want to have sex with you, resentful that supposedly only some cartoon jock "Chads" are supposedly attractive to all women.

Here's a tip: it is entirely on you to make yourself attractive enough physically, emotionally, psychologically, professionally, and financially to inspire a woman to want to have sex with you. Being "unfuckable" is the default state of all males. We are supposed to work very hard to evolve from boy to man in order for women to want to jump into bed with us.

Why is something so obvious like this now some sort of "hot take" or "controversial polemic"?

Is it because what was common sense generations ago, has eroded so deeply now that we can see it in the actual numbers of young people not involved in relationships, and the higher numbers of dissatisfied young women today?

Or how about if maybe it's more simple than this and in a sense even more insidious?

Here's a thesis to consider: what if the primary reason why a lot of men (particularly younger men) are less interested in making themselves fuckable, fuck-worthy—or in 1990s parlance, "sponge-worthy"—because they are content with jerking off to the endless country buffet of internet pornography?

Now, I'm not here to shame any of the men here about their porn usage.

I'm simply going to suggest this:

What if the man who stays content with masturbation instead of directing his sexuality into pleasing a woman, actually doesn't mature emotionally, psychologically, and even intellectually?

What if the extreme widespread proliferation of the ability to jerk off to infinite porn from one's handheld device, has in turn increased the number of men who choose to embrace that as their lifestyle and mentality because it is so much easier than having to do the work of being an attractive enough person that a woman would want to mate with you and then sustain a long-term relationship?

In previous pieces I've written in support of the Jonathan Haidt Anxious Generation thesis that excessive smartphone use psychologically impaired a generation. One can interpret this as an expression of that, except it goes far beyond just Gen-Z. Any man can choose to slip into a teenage boy world of porn and video games when creating a family and living in the real world is so much harder.

I'm not sure there's really a "solution" here to a larger and larger segment of the male population which prefers jerking off to having sex.

Surely at no time in male history has this ever been an argument that an older generation of men has had to make to the younger one.

"Come on guys! It's worth it! Make yourself a decent guy and the sex is going to be awesome!"

What the hell? Have we really reached the point now in which this argument has to be made? Perhaps it has in 2025 in the America of President Donald Trump, whose name has now been confirmed to appear in the Epstein files.

Yes, I'm just going to say it now:

Donald Trump is the ultimate unfuckable man

He has to pay women to fuck him. Melania has admitted that she's only with him because of his money. And we all know how much he paid Stormy Daniels. Gee, I wonder what the "wonderful secret" was that Trump shared with that other ultimate unfuckable man, Jeffrey Epstein?

Now here's a further theory to consider: what if the world is largely made chaotic, cruel and painful because of these unfuckable men? What if much of the evil in the world is simply because weak, pathetic men have not done the work to make it so women want to fuck them?

What if the unfuckable man is the real historical instigator of the successive wars against freedom and beauty across all of human history?

I should probably stop now before stretching out a theory about young men jerking off too much into an elaborate cosmology of the universe. Everything doesn't always need to link back to Ancient Egypt.

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