On Letting Myself Be Surprised, or This is Not the Vacation I Was Expecting

A Surprise Week with Our Niece in the Coachella Valley

"Sur-priiise!"

I've come to understand that some people loathe that sing-song declaration, often delivered with high energy and at higher decibels. I, personally, love surprises, and I've seen some doozies: one, sneezy, sniffly Christmas, I watched my mother magically surface from her terrible cold as she received a Mercedes as a present from my stepdad, the key hidden inside a wrapped box of Mucinex. Of course there have been surprise parties I was in on. And once, as an exchange student, I helped bring my widowed host mother's mother-in-law, long out of touch with her deceased son's wife, from Denmark to Germany for my host mom's momentous 50th birthday party. I'll never forget the two-minute hug they shared - my host mom's tears of gratitude.

So I'll amend my previous statement - I know I love giving and watching surprises! But it takes a lot to surprise me.

That's what I'd have said, anyway, until one small thing absolutely knocked my socks off earlier this week: my six-year-old niece, Clara, sitting in the back seat of my parents' SUV in the parking lot of the Coachella Valley resort where our Fearless Leader - my fiancé, Dave - and I met up with them for a week's vacation. They'd come all the way from Indiana to visit Dave and me here in California, and they brought this wonderful little surprise along!

Can I just pause tell you how much I adore Clara? I don't know: I'm a writer, but I don't have the words. I'll just say that Clara is an amazing mix of the child I remember being, the kind of child I wish I'd been, and the kind of child Dave and I hope to have one day. And, although Clara and I are very close, she may even prefer Dave's company to mine! 

So, what an incredible surprise this was! But, even as thrilled as I was to see her, as I met her big, sparkling eyes as she popped out of the back seat, huge smiles on both of our faces, I couldn't help but do a little mental recalibrating. In fact, I could sort of see why some people prefer to know what's coming!

Readers may remember how desperate I have been for air conditioning in any form, let alone a lazy river, two pools, and the opportunity to work with my mom on her novel! So I thought I knew how this week would go: we'd swim, float down the lazy river, lounge in the air conditioning, and then spend our evenings hashing out plot points and character development with Mom, while my stepdad did whatever people with pale skin and freckles do on vacation in places where it's way too hot: hole up with his Kindle? Run errands? Get the skinny on local dining options?

Well, not quite: we've all done all of those things, and we'll do them again. But on this trip, my stepdad is serving mainly in the capacity of his role as Chief Granddaughter Wrangler. My mom, a teacher, is working on her lesson plans for the upcoming school year a little bit more than I thought she'd have to.

As for Dave and me? Instead of lounging in bed all morning - under the covers, for a change, thanks to the robust AC - we've gotten up early to go swimming with a very excited little girl who wants to be there right when the pool opens. Instead of spending evenings doing Book Talk, we've gone back down to the pool and watched Pixar movies. Instead of barging into my parents' suite whenever the mood strikes, as I certainly would've done otherwise, we're mindful of nap times. And instead of the three-hour tour of Joshua Tree National Park I had in mind, we did a one-hour version that was much friendlier to a group that included a six-year-old. 

And you know what? It's been great. The trip has been better, in fact, than it would've been without Clara. 

That shouldn't be any shocker. I'd hate to think where I'd be today if I hadn't been able to receive the surprise of understanding that I needed to leave my first marriage. I wouldn't be with Dave. I wouldn't be in California. In fact, as I told Clara last night, none of us would be here at this resort right now if I hadn't been surprised by this unexpected development in my life.

So let's stay open-minded, friends, especially as we consider our faith. God does what He does best just when we think we've got the lay of the land: he surprises us with new information. He guides us into new territory. And he rewards us with wonderful people who help us be our best selves. Let's make sure we don't miss those amazing blessings by needing to control our lives too tightly.

Be gentle with yourselves,

Sally Shideler
God of the Desert Books, President, Managing Editor, Marketing Director