My 2023 Word of the Year

Why I chose ... a random transitional adverb?

Jan 25, 2023

You thought I was done writing New Year's content, didn't you? So did I! But since we're still in the thick of the 17 long years that make up January, I figure I can squeeze in one more reflection.

We've covered New Year's resolutions and 2023 bingo cards - we've even made a “what's in; what's out” list. But there's one more ritual that had slipped my mind, and once I remembered, I thought it was worth passing along.

My favorite aunt and godmother, Jan, has been doing something really cool each New Year for quite awhile now: she chooses a Word of the Year. Very often, it's something inspiring that she hopes to do more of, although sometimes, it functions more as a reminder. I have always admired this habit, especially the way she truly focuses on that word all year long! And, at the end of the year, she can point to specific trips she took, books she read, and experiences she had in the service of centering her calendar year around that inspirational word, and the idea that it represents.

Since you're about to ask, yes, she is, indeed, the most self-actualized person I know.

In contrast, I, a lesser being, am simply bumbling about the planet, having thought to arm myself only with a vague set of interests and goals and the best of intentions. Thus, I am operating on a much more terrestrial plane than Jan is! So I excused myself from the character-building work of selecting and honoring a Word of the Year, as much as I abstractly admired the idea.

I admired it so much that I forgot all about it. For, well, years.

But then my friend Stacie posted about her Word of the Year and everything she hoped to gain from centering and honoring it. And the idea struck me differently. Suddenly, this seemed like something I could do - something I should do.

I only had to think for a moment to select my word: it came to me right away. In 2023, I will work to embody and honor the spirit of the word “anyway.”

“Anyway?” What kind of a Word of the Year is that?

It's true that most people choosing a word to be inspired by, to work toward in the coming year, pick something a little more concrete. Like “self-care” or “progress.” Maybe “new experiences” or “spirituality” would be good Words of the Year for some people. “Relaxation.” “Faith.” Even “commitment.”

But the word “anyway” hit me as if God Himself had whispered it in my ear. Maybe He did! It's certainly apt.

As you will know if you've followed Dave's and my exploits, life is a lot right now. Though we have a deep and strong connection, we're a newish couple launching a business together, in the middle of the desert, while Dave attempts to recover from a potentially fatal illness. Also, I'm handicapped! Also, I have depression! Also, the desert has rattlesnakes and kangaroo rats, and I love it so much, but man, do I get homesick.

So yeah, “a lot” is a good description for our lives right now.

The best defense I have against all of those challenges is my faith. I know I'm very lucky to be able to find the idea of God's promises to His children entirely logical and believable. I'm also lucky to be very adaptable, and I'm an incurable optimist. It's like I have, “Don't worry; everything's going to be okay!” tattooed inside my eyelids.

And a good thing, too, because right now, I'm being optimistic and hopeful for both Dave and myself. After all, PTSD and suicidal depression are the Stage IV loss of hope. Think about it: if you honestly believed that your very most dire suspicions were true, and that your thorniest problems could never possibly be resolved, you might want to be done with life, too.

Needless to say, I really hope he doesn't reach that point. He's got way too much important work to do before we reach his stop. So, when episodes strike, I try to counter his worst thoughts, to point out where he's not being realistic, and to remind him of recent events that don't fit a narrative of doom and gloom. But I am just one woman. Yes, I am one woman who loves her fiancé a whole hell of a lot, but the truth is that, although I am the Optimism Department for the Southern California Swindles, I do know that I'm not actually in charge of Dave’s mental health. He is.

So this year, I need to live less of David's life and more of my own. I need to be happy, I need to be fulfilled, and I need to make my own plans. I deserve that, and so does my partner! Yes, there's an element of uncertainty in my life, and it's tempting to just hold: to sit around and wait for that uncertainty to be fully resolved.

But that's not how life works! Challenges and heartache come and go, and the joy of life is in the in-between. And, though it's hard and sometimes scary, I need to use my faith, my adaptability, and my optimism to live my best life anyway. I need to push myself anyway. I need to take care of myself anyway. I need to grow and strengthen and bloom anyway.