A Collection of Controversial Opinions, Part III
34 Positions on James Bond
James Bond must be a male, womanizing, white Englishman for the same reason that his profession must be as a spy, not a plumber.
James Bond epitomizes the Greek mythological hero, a semi-divine human man who is favored by the gods.
Sean Connery, being the first and the archetype, was the greatest James Bond.
Connery’s Bond demonstrates that a handsome, confident, gifted, masculine man is loved by both men and women.
Bond can be a sexist and no one really cares.
Bond could execute an unarmed man (a bad guy) and no one really cares.
The best Connery movie is From Russia With Love.
The most beautiful Bond girl is Daniela Bianchi in From Russia With Love.
All good James Bond movies have a timeless quality about them.
The times and settings of each movie make you long to be in those times and places.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service tried unsuccessfully to mix a 60s psychedelic feel with James Bond.
It is for this reason and not George Lansbury’s performance (which was excellent) that the movie is dated and less memorable.
Roger Moore successfully re-made James Bond into his own character.
Because he was after Connery, Moore is the second greatest James Bond.
Moore could take Bond into wonderfully apocalyptic heights and then successfully return him to earth in the next movie.
The best James Bond theme song is Live and Let Die.
Jaws (the James Bond villain, not the fish) is one of the best villains of all time.
Jaws is absurd in a perfect way.
The best Moore movie is The Spy Who Loved Me.
Octopussy is a wonderful culmination of the Moore era (even though it wasn’t his last).
Timothy Dalton is the best James Bond, after Connery and Moore.
Dalton brought Bond back down to earth, but not in a bad way.
Pierce Brosnan was too skinny in the 1980s to be James Bond; it was better that he could not play him until the 1990s.
The Brosnan movies tried to do the Moore movies in a more “realistic” way.
GoldenEye was the best Brosnan movie.
The hardest “suspension of disbelief” for viewers of all Bond movies is accepting that Denise Richards could be a nuclear scientist in The World is Not Enough.
In Die Another Day, it’s less hard to believe that bad guy Gustav Graves could be a North Korean pretending to be an Englishman than that he could be a multi-billionaire from North Korea.
The Pierce Brosnan movies are better than the Daniel Craig movies.
Daniel Craig is the worst James Bond.
He is a great action hero who is not really Bond.
The success of the “Bourne” movies changed James Bond into something he wasn’t previously.
In trying to make a more gritty, realistic James Bond, they turned James Bond into a mortal man.
This is proven by the fact that No Time to Die features his death.
James Bond proves the rule that in order to be successful and good, action and adventure movies must feature a masculine male lead; exceptions to this rule are just that, exceptions.
