2:30 AM - Reasons You're Still Up

Check all that apply

Inside my brain right now: “Ping pong match with dozens of balls flying through the air,” via Substack AI

✅ Morbidly fascinated with “Death by coconut” Wikipedia page

✅ Busy researching history of Thousand Island dressing, evaluating competing claims 

✅ Already woke up once in great distress because one pant leg was bunched up higher than other

✅ Looking f…